18
DEPRESSED
Played by EMILY
Posts: 15
Likes: 7
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Post by LILIANA WYNTERS on Mar 4, 2016 21:50:04 GMT -6
 this life is filled with hurt when happiness doesn't work. trust me and take my hand. when the lights go out you will understand. two o'clock on a tuesday and she was supposed to be in school. today, however, liliana just wasn't feeling it. the depression had taken a hold of her to such a great extent and if she had to sit through another rousing lecture about grammar, she felt as though she'd die of boredom. either that, or she'd hit her head so hard on her desk she'd cause a contusion. did it seem a little extreme, even morbid? of course, that was what the girl was all about. she stuck around for the tales of the holocaust and plague and things of that nature; not because she approved of them, but instead, because they satisfied her need for things that were obscure. in fact, biology had been her favorite of classes, mostly because she got to dive in and see the innards of things and how they worked. that was enough to chase her terrible thoughts away, even if only momentarily.
lately, there was something else that had been able to chase away the suicidal thoughts. well, more of a someone. honestly, lily couldn't even remember how she'd become acquainted with beau or in what manner. all she knew was that he was apart of her semi-regular life and she was okay with that. she had never been able to hide who she was and with her transparency, she often scared people away. that effect didn't seem to be true for beau, which was surprising and appreciated all at the same time. lily would even go as far as to say she enjoyed her company.
as the lost girl that she was, lily tended to wander. generally she had her head down, watching her feet and thinking about how sad the cracks on the pavement were. an odd thought, yes, but it was a thought in her head nonetheless. her destination wasn't nearly as much of a concern to her as it should have been, instead letting her feet work versus her mind. it appeared that her heart, or perhaps just her subconscious had been hard at work, leading her straight to the boy who never seemed to judge her.
lily had looked up only as she bumped into a man in front of her, being gifted a foul look. she muttered something of an apology before her gaze fell upon beau, who was wowing the small crowd around him. while she was completely transfixed on him, it wasn't his slight of hand that was drawing her attention. no, it was the color around him. there was a darkness to it; not quite black. that wasn't all, though. lining the darkness was a deep crimson, and too a bit of yellow. over the years, she'd gotten used to deciphering what each singular color meant, by comparing a persona's personalities. beau had a whole host of colors and honestly, she couldn't figure it out. it was the mystery about him which drew her to him, unable to shake the feeling that he was a person she could find something interesting about each and every single day.
without noticing her attention had shifted, lily's gaze moved to a sword swallower, who like beau, was performing for the weekday crowd. she'd become so enthralled with it, her mind beginning to move in all different directions. "i wonder how that would feel..." she muttered aloud. of course, she wasn't referring to the trick itself, but the manner of death in which was possible. often times, she thought of ways to die, contemplating which would be the most interesting. pain was an ideal that she was okay with, physically anyway, because it would help her to forget the emotional strife. she'd barely even noticed the crowd that had disappeared at the end of beau's act, leaving her to stare off into space like a lost puppy. she really had wanted to see his act too...
TEMPLATE BY ELIZA @ SP ADOXOGRAPHY |
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94
BROKEN
Played by MANDA
Posts: 39
Likes: 11
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Post by BEAU LAWRENCE on Mar 7, 2016 1:15:44 GMT -6
 HOLDING ON I'M LOST IN A HAZE
death was supposed to be peaceful. isn't that what they say? as life fades from your eyes, the human soul will forever be laid to rest. free of worry and regret, transported to a world far better than our own. paradise. the pain and torment would be no more, broken individuals healed by the power of a divine being... that was bullshit, all of it. there was no higher power, no peace... it was just a story, made up to scare children into being good. what was the point in begging for forgiveness? as if a mass murderer could simply repent and be stripped of all crime, be welcomed into a kingdom of purity. where was the sense in that? the promised light was non-existent, nothing but darkness waiting on the other side. the pain... there was so much pain... why would he allow his so-called children to suffer so greatly? what had beau done to deserve such torture? why didn't they love him?
it would seem as though our lord and savior was the bane of beau's issues. elinor had been a devoted catholic her entire life, living by the strict guidelines of their church. the woman was so blinded by faith, she had ignored the cries of an innocent child. beau didn't start off as a killer, in fact, he was the exact opposite. the kid was a good boy, helping out in both home and neighborhood. but when the hallucinations started, his beloved mother blamed it on the devil. beau's mental state was due to possession, his body had been taken over by demons. all he wanted was comfort, to be told that everything would be okay... to be held in his mother's arms. that never happened. instead, beau grew to fear the woman, to hate her with every fiber of his being. the cleansing was just the beginning. on top of being drowned countless times, she would lock him in the closet, subjecting the boy to darkness and confinement. life was nothing but a nightmare, and the afterlife proved no different.
for years, beau's soul was tortured in the fiery pits of hell, thanks to a little deal he had previously made. luckily for him, those memories were blurred along with the rest of his past. life before his death was unknown, suppressed by overwhelming emotions. beau couldn't handle the truth, so he buried it. the truth of the matter: beau was a murderer. not only did he brutally kill both his mother and father, but the kid also took part in a great massacre. it was a slaughter that would one day go down in history, despite how hard they struggled to cover it up. it was beau's doing, using his abilities to further spark the patients' insanity. most of the souls involved were innocent, placed into the hospital because society no longer wanted to deal with them. that's all they were: a burden to the outside world. these people weren't normal, so they were simply tossed aside, forced to endure inhumane treatment. in beau's mind, he was setting them free. every person he killed, their spirits were being uncaged. their suffering would end. however, the kid managed to get carried away with it all. soon enough, it was no longer a mercy killing. due to being restrained his entire life, beau craved power, to feel in control. taking a life was indescribable, a release far greater than self-mutilation. beau had moved on from harming himself, turning to those around him.
liliana was a bright light, the only light flickering within beau's darkness. for the first time in his life, the male felt whole again. there was no doubting just how much he loved the girl, despite never having experienced those emotions before. it was consuming, overwhelming. to say that he had become obsessed would be an understatement, his possessive nature growing stronger with each passing day. killer or not, what beau felt was real. he wanted the best for lily, he wanted her to be happy. whoever posed a threat to the girl's well-being, well, let's just say that he's been restraining himself. one word. that's all it would take. if liliana wanted her problems to go away, beau would gladly take care of them. her happiness was the kid's main concern, and he would kill to keep that intact. whether she requested his assistance or not. of course, beau knew better. liliana wynters was a good person, the only difference between them. she wasn't a monster.
working the crowds had been a daily routine, moving about the town with their little act. in reality, it wasn't what beau expected to be doing. i mean, the kid had only just come back. the world was a different place entirely, having still been stuck in the 1940s. he never got the chance to experience this bizarre life, due to his new family. it wasn't safe for him to be around others... chey's words, not his. honestly, beau couldn't understand why. what had he done? there were no memories of his crimes. in his own mind, beau was innocent. despite their efforts to cage him up, the boy did manage to escape their watchful eyes every now and again. usually, it meant that liliana was present. she was the only reason for him to stray... from the corner of his eye, beau caught a glimpse of the beauty. a smirk pulled at the corner of his mouth, momentarily forgetting about the crowd before him. wanting to cut things short, he finished up the current card trick. shocked gasps spread through the crowd, a normal reaction among such individuals. leaning forward, beau took a light bow before ducking into the horde of bodies.
approaching the female from behind, beau's gaze drifted up to the sword swallower. "i can think of a few better ways to go out." grinning slightly, he took a step forward, gently kissing liliana on the cheek. glossy orbs flicked to the side as he pulled away, eyeing both mordecai and cheyenne in the distance. they weren't paying much attention to him, having been caught up in their own acts. seemed like the perfect opportunity to make a run for it. looking back to lily, a bright smile spread across his features. "what do you say we get outta here?" holding out his hand, beau's expression softened. "ditch the rest of your day with me?" it was obvious that she had skipped her classes, something that wasn't entirely surprising. as for beau, despite having met lily at the high school, the male hadn't attended in over seventy-eight years, and he had absolutely no desire to go back.
FIGHTING LIFE TO THE END OF MY DAYS TAGGED
LILIANA WYNTERS
WORDS
1126
LYRICS
korn
NOTES
<3
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18
DEPRESSED
Played by EMILY
Posts: 15
Likes: 7
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Post by LILIANA WYNTERS on Mar 8, 2016 20:45:53 GMT -6
this life is filled with hurt when happiness doesn't work. trust me and take my hand. when the lights go out you will understand. beau sparked something in lily she'd never felt before. was it motivation to do something with her life or get out to see him? was it hope that she could escape her depression and the idea of prematurely ending her life? was it curiosity for the darkness that surrounded him? or was it love, which she never thought possible for herself? she didn't think it was any of those things, frankly, but in reality, it was a bit of each...especially the latter.
the girl was entirely unaware of the magic that coursed through her veins. whether her mother was aware of her own or lily's magic will be forever unknown to her. honestly, she wasn't even aware the supernatural realm existed, other than in her books. aside from the boy that was regularly on her mind, the lore of vampires and lycans and everything in between was something that excited her. she'd spent more time researching them in the library than anything else. if only she knew her ability to see auras, in the form of colors, was because of her own supernatural ability. rather than look into it too much, she had always considered it a regular thing. she didn't realize that not everyone had such an ability. beau's colors were indecipherable to her; like nothing she'd ever seen. it was that mystery which initially drew her toward him, though it was the rest of him which made her stay.
love was such an interesting concept to her. well truthfully, she'd always thought it would be disgusting. she didn't want the butterflies or the aching for someone or even the idea of having to impress someone. yet beau had changed that for her...probably because she didn't have any of those feelings. everything about what they were seemed natural, like two pieces of a puzzle that had been missing for sometime. he seemed to be on the same wavelength as her, accepting her unexplainable emotional pain as it was. yes, she did love the boy though saying it aloud was a little more awkward.
lily jumped slightly at the voice that greeted her, snapping her out of her trance. when he kissed her, she smiled softly at him, something that not many people were able to get out of her. for a fleeting moment a look of disappointment washed over her, realizing she'd missed the end of his trick. in their time together, he'd always been doing simple things, which impressed her greatly, but she'd always wanted to see his act. unfortunately, she managed to miss it. ah well, it gave her an excuse to skip school and come back again.
"oh really? i think it'd be kinda neat. the idea of feeling all that pain at once...and then nothing..." her voice drifted off with wistful tones, finally shaking her head to dismiss it. death was such a mystery to her. it had been, ever since she learned of her near death experience as a newborn. she'd self harmed in the past and the pain felt good...if only she could take it to a greater level. after a few moments, she decided to leave her thoughts all together and focus upon the handsome guy in front of her. "i missed the tail of end your act." she stated simply, hiding her disappointment. "what do i need to do to get a private performance?"
his suggestion they get away was just what she wanted. with a nod and a smile, she stood on her tiptoes, returning the same kiss he'd first given her. "sounds like a plan. the library can wait." it was the only plan she had in mind, to go off and read up on some more vampire lore. if she was lucky, maybe she'd get him to sit down and watch a creepy movie with her. whereas most people's heart rates rose during scary movies due to her, hers did so because of excitement. then again, if emerson was home, she'd prefer to stay away from her awful sister.
lily took his hand as he offered it, lacing her fingers through his. they were quite the pair, they were. she'd heard the whispers around her before. she didn't care when they were just about her and she certainly didn't care that they had now evolved to include judgement on beau too. her thick skinned prevented damaged feelings and wounded pride. "where to? please tell me we can fuck with normal people." because what was better than that?
TEMPLATE BY ELIZA @ SP ADOXOGRAPHY |
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